To Read or Not to Read

I like to read. I engage in very few activities that could be considered hobbies and reading is one of those few. I suppose I have two reasons for this; one, is because as much as I hate cliches, knowledge is indeed power; and two, in order to create a plausible character you must have the ability to analyze and break down the components of the average human- that is what I do everyday. Why not analyze another's analysis of the human race? It's not like I have anything better to do.

I once read a Sidney Sheldon book about a series of inexplicable things that happened to three women. It was long enough ago that I don't quite recall all the details but basically, by the end of the story you realize there aren't three women- just one. One single woman who has multiple personality disorder. One was a murder, one was a whore, and the other.. just the boring old original.

Everyone has different aspects to their personality. All the aspects of mine I am fully aware of. I have more identities than she could fathom but unlike her, I choose mine both consciously and carefully. I do believe I have one core personality though, but it is completely uninteresting. Uninteresting and totally uninterested. With a longer list of dislikes than likes. But I see no downside to being shallow. It's actually kind of... fun.

Boredom

I'm discussing with someone the difference between the things I 'enjoy' and what normal people enjoy. As a rule, I don't feel a wide range of emotion. Say the normal emotional scale is from -10 to 10, my scale is from -2 to 2. Therefor my, 'hobbies' tend to be more extreme. Boredom is a constant in my life. But it's not as if I seek happiness. I don't really get the point.

Emotions are so annoying to me. Being around emotional people is like being an outsider in a club everyone else is a part of. No one will tell me the secret password. I can talk my way around many emotions but I don't really understand where they come from. For instance, I can't have a heartfelt conversation with someone, I'm not quite good enough yet to fake all the things I need to fake. I can say how "sorry I am for your loss" or whatever, but I can't verbally show I relate to someone, as if that even makes any sense.

My point is, Sociopaths aren't half as good as people think we are. The advantage we have is people assume everyone is like them. If an Empath was analyzing my emotional response with the knowledge that I may be full of shit, I might have a harder time being convincing. Why? Because you can't write a thesis on a topic you didn't study. If you've never heard of spanish you sure as hell couldn't identify, then speak the language.

Who knows. I'm tired and can't even follow my own analogy at the moment, but I don't allow more than 2 days to go by without posting. I have to maintain a regimen. Control is a very important element in my life. What I can control, I do. Everyone has their little idiosyncrasies. Mine just happen to make me the devil.

Quote of the Day

'Die, verb: To stop sinning suddenly. '

Elbert Hubbard

And since that was more of a definition than an actual quote, I give you one more, that I can most assuredly relate to.

"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." - Clarence Darrow

Knives

Are my favorite toys. So slick and smooth. Cold and dangerous. Like me, but inanimate. A knife could slowly caress you one moment, and savagely pierce your chest in another. It's fascinating. I believe a person's favorite object can tell you many things about them. It can give you an unprecedented glimpse into the true mind of a human being.

The problem with people though, is they lie. We all lie. The only variation is that some of us lie better than others. We lie for different reasons-some with logic, others with emotion. It is hard to claim an identity as a Sociopath. I am, whoever I need to be, to accomplish a set goal. That is it. I know it is somewhat confusing because it confuses me as well. When the masks are tossed aside, who am I?

Contrary to how it may sound, It's really not important to me to know but still- I am curious. Empaths seem so caught up in being a 'unique' individual. They want a sole identity for themselves, not realizing their social significance in society is in reality, completely insignificant on a grander scale. Life as a whole is inherently meaningless, despite what Empaths delusionally wish to believe.

It makes me wonder. Do Normals look at themselves in the mirror and see something distinct? Do they gaze into their own eyes and know exactly who they are looking at? I look in the mirror every morning and see my reflection. No sentimental hogwash or feelings of any sort cross my mind. I brush my teeth, comment on my sustained attractiveness and take a piss. It is hard to imagine life with so much intense emotion clogging up everything you do. An emotional heart attack waiting to happen. Perhaps I have Diabetes of the soul.

The only thing 'special' about me is my ability to blend in in any situation. That doesn't mean I always choose to do so; not even close. As much as I hate other people, my whole life revolves around them. Reading them, studying their habits, determining the best way to guide them in the direction I choose-these are the activities that make up my entire day.

Controlling people is the only thing that gets me up in the morning. Everything I do is moulded around that goal. My choice of career, friends, activities- everything. I do not believe it is because I am somehow 'evil' because there is no such thing as good or evil. It just so happens that Control brings me pleasure and enjoyment. What other motivator could there be to do something?

Another thing I enjoy is pain; giving and receiving. I enjoy stealing and I enjoy talking about myself (obviously). As you may have noticed the list of things that bring me even mild enjoyment is very short. The things that irritate me or invoke my rage however, are endless. I have no hobbies, have no fondness for much of anything and that includes both objects and people. I am easily bored but by now am used to it. OH! And I've been contemplating slaughtering the family dog for months now. Not because I dislike it- I actually am somewhat fond of the little thing. I'll let you brainstorm the reason why.

Emotion,

Is what makes humanity weak. The most pathetic species in existence- at least for the duration of this post anyway. We all have them. And by 'we' I mean everyone but me. The point is faux empathy has become a global pandemic (redundant phrasing, I know). And the 'sincere' version's no better. By faux I mean it's fake, but not how a socio fakes it. It's become a fad. Haiti, New Orleans, Uganda; no one gives half a damn about any of these places. But, each of these places at one time or another became the focal point of what I like to call, Fad Empathy. Basically, if you couldn't get the definition from the obvious name, Fad Empathy is when as a result of the media or some other brain washing social source a slew of people pretend to care about a specific place or group of people in order to look 'cool' and 'fit in'. It's a fascinating phenomenon really. It annoys the shit out of me.

As soon as the fad is over, when there's no more hype and it's no longer 'cool' to care people stop. Just like that. And I'm supposed to be the emotionless bastard here? Not true. What I am is, I'd like to say honest. We all know that's not true but if I'm a liar then it makes sense for me to lie, right? Everything I do is for a reason. It may seem warped to the outside world but I don't give a damn about the outside world- I give a damn about Me. That's the difference. Normals lie because they want their peers to view them in a certain way. Not for a specific personal gain, but because they want the FEELING of acceptance. I can't relate to that.

That's not to say I don't relate to many, many Empaths. That's just not true. I know I talk like it's Me vs Them but I recognize there is a special sub-species of Empath that I have oodles of traits in common with. The Asshole, also known as, the Bitch, Jerk, Jackass or Bastard. They're my favorite Empaths because they're just so much easier to get along with. So much more straight forward and just simply fun. They insult, demean and manipulate and couldn't care less how wounded my inner-feelings could be. I can honestly say they're a true pleasure to watch in action.

I'm an avid protester of the mundane. I enjoy excitement but don't like to show it. Fear is my favorite emotion. I rarely feel it, but when I do I love to confront it. To intensify the feeling. It's almost a sexual experience-a rush. I don't fear fear, I seek it out. I enjoy it. I provoke pain. I suppose I've always been wired a bit backwards. The word for it I believe is, I'm a Masochist. As well as a Sadist, and a slew of other most likely 'disturbing' identities. My favorite toy is my personal set of razor sharp kitchen knives (less suspicious when it's normal). They're of course, never used for preparing food- that'd just be a waste. Maybe I have a knife fetish? Or perhaps the more broad 'Pointy Death-devices' fetish. Who knows?

Remember Socios,

"When dealing with people [Empaths], remember you are not dealing with creatures of logic, but creatures of emotion." --Dale Carnegie

Quote of the Day

"I wouldn't recommend sex, drugs or insanity for everyone, but they've always worked for me."-Hunter Thompson

Drugs

I don't know how Sociopaths in general view recreational drug use but I myself am pro- use. If the Empaths want to numb themselves from the bullshit society has to offer, why stop them? I've always preferred the darker elements of humanity. I get along much better with drug dealers and murderers than I ever did with school teachers and volunteers. They're so much more interesting- and yes I've met people who fit all of those descriptions. It could have something to do with the fact that I grew up with the dredges of society. Other kids I'm sure got told fictitious bedtime stories when they were little- I got to hear strangers tell of the latest ways they last got sent to prison. Fun times, I miss them.

Ever since I was as young as I can even remember I have been a Klepto. Actually, to be honest I peaked in my earlier years. I would steal anything and everything, who knows why. I stole for the rush stealing gave me rather than for any true desire for the things I took. Everything from cash to books to Icecream I stole. I've never had a true grasp of 'right' and 'wrong'. For me, anything I choose to do is 'right' unless I get caught. Those are the rules. The ends justify the means. The few times I did get caught were never in the act. They were because, like I said, I had no inclination to actually use half the things I took, so a few times vast collections of cash(at least for my age) would be found and questioned.

One time a teacher found 300 dollars in my Cubby after I moved and the other was 700 dollars in a Coca Cola box. What use does a kid have with money? Both times however I expertly shifted the blame from myself. Lying was another little hobby I picked up around then. The two went hand in hand perfectly.

I've gone through many phases in my short life where I put emphasis on one of my many 'vices'. Between drugging, lying, cheating and stealing I'm not sure which is my favorite. They're all a lot more interesting than living life 'by the book'. Empaths with little empathy are a lot more 'fun' to be around than boring ole sober-Joes, that's for damn sure. And what group of people has some of the lowest amounts of Empathy? Drug 'addicts', who else?

Privacy

One thing I absolutely hate about Empaths is their blatant use of emotional blackmail to get what they want. This is also known as, the Guilt Trip. Unfortunately for them, I could care less if their feelings are hurt or who gets screwed over because of me. That however, does not make it any less irritating when they try. I'm sick of idiots flinging their emotions at me like a chimpanzee flings shit. I hate when I have to pretend to care- because it has me at a loss. Why are their feelings hurt? I can't relate. The only 'emotion' I understand is anger. Everything else I 'feel' are just states of being- like being annoyed, or irritated, etc.

One.. quirk, I do have however is an extreme sense of territorialism, for the lack of a better word. I need privacy, I don't like Beings in my space. It is almost to the point of obsessive compulsive. I don't like hugs or other forms of physical affection and I don't like people touching my things. It makes me want to gut them. And I would- were it not for my rigid self-control. Why is it Humans these days are so intrusive? They want to know everything about each-other and spill everything about themselves. Shamelessly. Recklessly and foolishly. Human bonds are so over rated that people are desperate for the kind of 'connection' songwriters wail about. "Love, all you need is love..." what a sack of shit. Because having 'friends' and a 'soul-mate' is so important to society now people throw themselves into commitments with no thought.

They meet a stranger on a train and spill their life story- their hopes, their dreams and all the things the world really couldn't give half a damn about. It's disgusting and makes the world a much easier place for people like me to thrive. Desperate, lonely people are like fudge to Sociopaths- you take that analogy wherever you'd like.

“When it comes to privacy and accountability, people always demand the former for themselves and the latter for everyone else.”- David Brin

Quote of the Day

"Smile and others will smile back. Smile to show how transparent, how candid you are. Smile if you have nothing to say. Most of all, do not hide the fact you have nothing to say nor your total indifference to others. Let this emptiness, this profound indifference shine out spontaneously in your smile.”- Jean Baudrillard

Normal Sociopath?

Is there a such thing as a 'normal' sociopath? Meaning, is there a right or a wrong way to be empty inside? I don't think so but then again, I am admittedly warped. I'm not just a Sociopath, I'm a violent, sadistic sociopath and I'm not sure others can relate to that. Sometimes I think of it as being consciously insane. The statement contradicts itself. If you know you're 'crazy' you must not be crazy. I know that sometimes the things I say or do are considered 'wrong'. They are 'amoral'. I realize society believes that, but there is no such thing as morality just as there is no God. I KNOW what society thinks. But I also know they are completely full of shit. I don't see how not having a conscience is 'bad'. 99.99% of animals don't have one either, maybe we should lock them all up too.

The other day after a gathering of some sort my grandmother looked at me quizzically. She said, "I never seemed to notice before but... you have really great social skills..." But she didn't say it like a casual compliment, but almost as if it were an epiphany. She went, "You're charming, funny, articulate and engaging... you make people feel important- but I know for a fact you don't really feel that way... you're.. you're kind of...."

"Glib?" I replied, and our eyes met in an almost eerie silent communication.

It makes me wonder if we Socios are more naive than we think. Are all the people around us really the naive ones or is it us? Are they merely in denial of what they know deep down to be true? Of course I'm referring to close 'friends' and relatives not your everyday casual acquaintance. How can someone interact or even live with someone for years on end and never realize they're talking to an empty shell? It's hard to believe, but every once in awhile I look in someone's eyes and am positive we both know what I am. Generally speaking though, that happens most with other sociopaths.

“Our greatest pretenses are built up not to hide the evil and the ugly in us, but our emptiness. The hardest thing to hide is something that is not there.”- Eric Hoffer

Best Typo of the Week

ZKM says: (1:15:20 AM)

omg

ZKM says: (1:15:25 AM)

I never thought I'd hear the day

ZKM says: (1:15:39 AM)

why do u think cock is better now?

Anonymous says: (1:15:50 AM)

well i havn't tried it is the thing

Anonymous says: (1:16:01 AM)

like, what if its better?

Quote of the Day

"Evil is just a point of view"- Anne Rice

Manipulation and Non-related relatives

The greatest challenge any manipulator has to face is maintaining self control. That means exerting your will expertly to mould your surroundings to your liking. To control others you must first control yourself. This is what I tell myself when two seconds away from ramming a spork through someone's spinal cord. Everything I do I do for a specific, well thought out reason. I must constantly remind myself of this when pretending to relate to Inferiors. Tomorrow afternoon I'm going to a sort of 'family' picnic. Some married-in 'relatives' whose blood hasn't crossed mine since Jesus made us all out of sand.

I can be anyone you want me to be. It's better than it sounds- having no real identity. Observe, Analyze, Resolve. Those three words are what guides my social interactions. Observe the mark, search for abnormalities in belief, appearance, speech etc. Analyze and create a profile based on observations. Resolve- determine the most ideal social match for the mark and imitate. Based on the goal of my social interaction I may choose different ideal identities to suit my needs. Ie. I want to make someone cry. How would I do that? Observe, Analyze, Resolve. Say I observe a lady with certain key traits that are all I would need to solve my problem. I observe her black slacks are covered in a thin layer of animal fur and there is no ring on her ring finger; she claims after some trivial conversation to have 4 dogs- all from the pound. Analyzing this data I assume she is an animal empathizer as well as an animal lover. To resolve I see that her greatest love must be her animals- she has no one else.

The perfect profile to achieve my goal would be a pathetic animal lover like herself, who recently lost the only creature in the world who 'truly understood her'. First I would create a quick bond by relating a humorous story about my last pet. I would endear her to him and then reveal his passing. I would relate his importance to me and my resulting loneliness at his passing. I would remind her of herself which is apparently a key component to empathy. This connection between her and I would set her mirror neurons aflame and she would be as glossy eyed as a doped fish. This was a recent experience I had waiting in line at the post office. My point is, now that I've forgotten, is control is the key to any successful endeavor. If I had allowed myself to reveal my true disgust and distaste for her pathetic life I would have lost control of the entire situation. Basically, this post was a roundabout way for me to remind myself that there are better alternatives of revenge than just bludgeoning members of my non-related-family. I am also reminding myself that these people are rich and it would be a waste of all my efforts of trying to get into some of those Wills. One down, who knows how many to go?

“The basic tool for the manipulation of reality is the manipulation of words. If you can control the meaning of words, you can control the people who must use the words.”- Phillip Dick

Quote of the Day

"Hell is empty and all of the devils are here"

-Shakespeare

Death and our Perceptions

The hardest thing for people to comprehend about the Sociopath is our utter and complete lack of empathy (although I do believe there are levels of sociopathy and some may be more or less 'emotionless' than others). It's funny how a lack of empathy, shame and regret can effect so many other 'feelings' and 'emotions'. Take disgust for instance. Most people who look at the above image would cringe in disgust. That's not to say a Sociopath won't find it somewhat revolting, but the reasonings behind the 'feeling' are different. The Sociopath may deem the image as sloppy, dirty and simply messy, and therefore may categorize it under the term 'disgusting'. A 'normal' Empath (not saying all Empaths are the same) would find that revolting not only because it is 'messy' and bloody and gorey but because it is a tragic loss of human life or somesuch nonsense. I've never been able to comprehend the same Empaths who won't blink an eye at the sight of the mangled roadkill just run down by their tires, but will sob and balk at the 'senseless' loss of human life and argue that it is not the same. At least as a Sociopath I am consistent. I care about no life but my own and those who benefit me. The only delusional beliefs I hold are about myself and that's just that little nibble of Narcissism in me that makes me the charming catch that I am.

"Do the animals know they are going to die? The men who kill them claim they don't. But when the machinery begins to rumble and the conveyor belts start to roll, sounds that expedite death are heard by animal and man alike."- Francis B Gross

Mother In Law and World Domination

Tomorrow, soon to be 'today' I will be meeting with my grandmother's mother Inlaw. I know it sounds exciting, but really it's going to be even more miserable than it sounds. Of course I'll smile and flatter and blather on throughout, but that doesn't mean it won't be unpleasant. Quite the contrary, it will be hell. Manipulation in itself is I suppose its own reward. Controlling someone with nothing but your words and false sincerity gives a... feeling of 'accomplishment' that I assume is what Empaths drone on and on about when doing, good, deeds.

I wonder if our two different kinds of 'feelings' of 'accomplishment' feel similar. Mine is built on power and the feline stroking of my ego and theirs I assume is some delusional feeling of completion upon helping others over themselves. I really don't know. A lot of what I have always deemed to be the truth about Empaths has been strongly disputed by some, 'experts'. This has caused me to question my perspective on my own.. perspective, so to speak. I have always harbored a view on the world tainted by my own sociopathy. I have always realized I was different in some ways, but not others. For instance, my belief has always been that it's not my lack of emotional give a fuck that was different, just my honesty about not giving a fuck.

I figured everyone was as callous as me, they just pretended to be kind and humble for attention and accolades from the rest of society. I'm not saying I don't pretend, but only when it benefits me. Not just to get a nice 'pat on the back'. That's just... ridiculous. Illogical. Insane. A complete waste of time and precious energy.

I couldn't, and still can't, possibly imagine why anyone gives a damn about Africa or Mexico or some other shitty, flea infested place like that. Sure it's unfair. If enough people in wealthy countries REALLY cared, we wouldn't be screwing those poor third world countries like we are now. But fortunately for the world, people like me run things. Do any of you woe-begone morons even comprehend what those third worlders would do in our place? They would crush us. Just as they should. Why? Because it makes sense. It's logical. The fewer nations that are in power, the greater power those few nations hold. And that's just the tip of the iceberg in terms of reasons and explanations of our actions go. But I digress.

Where I live, in my group of 'friends' and in the entire area (and the world, really) there is a species of Empath I like to call the AttentionWhore, sometimes called just Whore for short. These creatures, who I will talk about in more detail in a later post, are basically the scourge of the social world. They are the Narcissists of the Empath world and they are coming for your sanity. Just as a bit of a teaser to what these Things really are and what they really do; this is a hypothesized example of a starter dialogue between two AttentionWhores planning for the next day,

A-Whore1: "I'll pretend to just notice ur bullemic anorexia if you bring attention to my super conspicuous slit wrists!"

To Be Continued...

Quote of the Day

"We are each our own devil, and we make this world our hell”

-Oscar Wilde

Vacation

I'm finally back from my little family trip. I can honestly say I have no particular fondness for the desert. I was born in the rain and will most likely die as damp as I was born. I prefer cloudy days and clear crisp nights. The rain, the hail the wind and everything in-between make me feel alive. I enjoy the chaos mother nature can deliver on a daily basis. Even from an early age I was always partial to a good storm. It calms my mind to be surrounded by chaos, as if I alone am the eye of some magnificent storm that is everyday life.

The temperature there ranged from 96 to 112 degrees Fahrenheit. Depending where you live and what climate you prefer that may sound horrendous or absolutely godly. I was the former. The heat alone I could take, but that coupled along with general familial trivialities trapped in a small automotive space for over 4 hours both ways, and I was about to lose my mind. My ideal car trip involves a direct route to wherever it is we're going, and absolutely no idol chatter or otherwise irritating and unnecessary noises. Those noises include; crying, talking, laughing, yelling and most anything else you can think of. Unfortunately for me all of these noises persisted consistently throughout the entirety of the trip.

That being said, my survival of this horrific ordeal cements my strength of mind in stone.

“No one needs a vacation more than the person who just had one.”

La Familia

Perhaps I'm starting a new trend. Posting to my Blog at all hours of the night. Well, I suppose Eleven isn't that late, but you catch my drift. I lead a confusing life. Everything I do or say is a finely tuned knock-off of the real thing. And I've been thinking more and more lately, that I really dislike my family. But that's not fair. Because in reality I really, really dislike everyone. It's annoying to have to keep up a steady stream of bullshit throughout the day to hide how little I truly care about anyone. Friends and family are just burdens. Giant leeches of your time and resources if you let them. Which is why I don't.

“Feminism is a socialist, anti-family, political movement that encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism and become lesbians.”

Horror

I have always had a fascination with the depraved. Even when I was a small child, I would watch 'scary' movies and relate most to the 'villain'. While everyone else cheered the 'Hero's' triumph I would boo him from the sidelines. I never understood their motives. Why sacrifice anything for someone else for no good reason? Why risk something for no material gain? Why do people give money to charities?

I've always viewed this from a logical and cynical viewpoint. Although you must keep in mind, one man's logic is another man's chaos. Anyway, I see empathy as nothing more than over-hyped selfishness. As far as I can see Empaths TAKE the emotions of others and use them to get attention for themselves. But, this was my viewpoint before I discovered my Sociopathy (before I had a name for my... tendencies). I may be twisted and fucked up, but one thing I am not is ignorant. Having discovered I have APD has changed my perspective on many things. Yes, I still believe empathy is pointless- but I also understand that my opinion is skewed by lack of understanding.

I'm not exactly sure what the point of this post was supposed to be- or even is. There's 2 minutes to midnight and I realize I am just expressing thoughts I've often pondered many a time. Why is everyone else different from me? It's a question I've always asked myself, even from a very young age. Not from any kind of insecurity but a burning curiosity. I've always got a mild satisfaction from viewing media centered around the taboo. Serial murder, rape, torture, cannibalism the list goes on. I don't get the same things out of it that I believe Empaths do. I find it interesting to view a 'normal' person's view of the 'other side' of morality. As if it is some tangible wall that separates the men from the beasts. That and a good bloody murder scene has always tickled my funny bone.

I also enjoy seeing Sociopath's in television as the protagonists and how the writers, actors and director try to paint the Sociopath in a better light. Characters like that are literally manipulating the masses through the screen. Just look at the show Dexter. Sure, Dexter Morgan is a blood hungry serial killer with a mild case of schizophrenia (if you ask me..) but he ONLY kills 'bad guys'. Other serial killers to be precise. And although the obvious hypocrisy is something any sociopath could naturally easily ignore, the real trouble comes with how they make him act and his explanations for his choices. In the show they act as if he has a conscience but also the urge to kill- that my friends is great for people like me. YES, absolutely go ahead and create a sympathetic view of the modern day psychopath. Make the masses empathetic to our cause.

By this point I can tell I'm not only rambling, but exhausted. But, this is my blog and so I suppose I have the authority and if anything, the sworn duty, to ramble to my heart's content. This weekend I'm going on a little trip. Out to the desert for a 'nice' weekend of soothing, scalding hot 'relaxation'. I don't know if I'll be able to get Internet there and therefore may be missing a few posts I'm 'sorry' to say. Alas, the world will go on without me, if only for a few days.

The world is but a simple puzzle; it takes an unhindered mind to sort the pieces.

The variations of Sociopaths

A few days ago I hinted at a future discussion of the differences between Sociopaths. We are all unique people with different character traits. Our only common 'bond', if you will, is our lack of Empathy, Shame and Conscience. Everything else are variables in which we can differ. Just like Empaths we are unique. Some Empaths may have anger issues, others may be melodramatic sobbing Emos; some are sensitive and others are very INsensitive. The same goes for Sociopaths- we vary too.

Some Sociopaths experience little to no emotion or reaction to anything, these Socios, I believe to be the greatest 'thrill' seekers. Others can be very violent and easily angered, whether they hide their short fuse also varies. Some lead a life of crime and others barely color outside the lines. The problem with modern psychology and their view of psychopaths, is their main pool for study are the short fused, dumb sociopaths coalescing in our prison system.

Since when has a psychologist got to study the high-powered businessmen who just happens to be a Socio? Or the successful doctor, lawyer or even the mailman. So, because their largest samples of psychopaths come from prisons, they try to paint us all into that same box. "All people with antisocial personality are like this _____." As if it's set in stone. This is the only perspective the world sees.

Not to mention the score of pathetic spouses on the net, spewing their sob stories about their 'psychopath' exes who usually don't even half assed fit the profile. Empaths can be conniving and manipulative too, and they don't always feel bad for it either. So then of course after all these morons whine all over the 'net, what does everyone see? They see that this chick's ex was a 'psychopath' because he cheated. "OH WAIT! MY boyfriend cheated! He MUST be a Sociopath too!" and the cycle goes on and on.

Basically what I'm saying, is there IS a definite difference between being an asshole, and being a card carrying Socio. This is just me setting the record straight. We're all different, you can't just expect us to all come from the same angle. Most people expect us all to be grungy criminals you could see coming from a mile away- the reality is quite different. Take this quote by Ted Bundy- insert sociopath and maybe take out dead children; "We serial killers are your sons, we are your husbands, we are everywhere. And there will be more of your children dead tomorrow"

*claps dramatically* well spoken Ted.

We all saw where that philosophy got him.

Fried to a crisp

Sociopaths in the media

Help me think up some examples:

Dr Gregory House, from the show House MD

Laurie from the show That 70's Show

Dexter Morgan from the show Dexter

Angelica from Rugrats

Barack Obama from Afghani- I mean the United States

The list goes on.. I wanna keep track.

'The land of the free, and the home of the obnoxious morons"

Ugh, today is, lucky lucky for me, the 4th of July. I hate holidays. I shouldn't even have to go into exactly why, anyone with half a brain should be able to hazard several spot-on guesses. Every year my Grandfather wants to go down to the lake and watch fireworks 'together'. It is a day I dread for 364 days of the year. It is pointless, frivolous and uncomfortable. There are so many less annoying things I could be doing that Don't involve pretending to be enthralled by airborne explosives and the morons that wield them. Every, fucking, year someone almost gets blown to pieces. Do you have any idea how disappointing that is? To ALMOST watch some idiot asshole get the shit blown out of him? It is pure torture.

It just makes me hot, and thirsty and uncomfortable. Standing there watching 'happily' moronic people go about their holiday with drunken cheer. And when I'm annoyed, I get introspective-the more annoyed the more introspective I get. And believe you me, I am one fucking psychopath you don't want introspective. I start thinking of all the people I'd like to eliminate, and that list is exponentially long. More get added to that list every day, and just thinking about how I'd like to... shorten, that list fills me with a bit of that 'holiday' cheer everyone else seems to have.

Ha, what'dyou know! I managed to 'cheer' myself up. I knew creating this Blog was a good idea. And yes, I'm going to be annoyed the rest of the night, and some fucking asshole keeps blowing things up outside my house, but, every corpse has its bloody lining or however that saying goes. I should try to stay on the positive- I have 364 whole days to get revenge on every moron in my neighborhood for putting me in this dreadful mood.

Thanks for the PickmeUp,

ZKM

Sociopathic Quote of the Day:

"Nature is cruel; therefore we are also entitled to be cruel. When I send the flower of German youth into the steel hail of the next war without feeling the slightest regret over the precious German blood that is being spilled, should I not also have the right to eliminate millions of an inferior race that multiplies like vermin?" -Adolph Hitler

I use a lot of Hitler quotes, because he is one of the most well-known recognized Psychopaths of our time. Just look at what he was capable of doing. He took on the world, and though I believe he was borderline Narcissistic, I would like to take credit for his brilliance by categorizing him under the banner of Sociopath. Although I must admit, the Meth he was on throughout the war does deserve a great deal of consideration in that respect.

Devastation and Grief

I guess recently a 'friend of the family' had a... tragedy drop upon her doorstep. Two members of her family, including 2 of her grandchildren and their babysitter all either drowned to death in her backyard or almost did, each trying to save each-other. Apparently it all started when her 10 year old grandkid fell in the river that was a short walk from their backyard. The 16 year old babysitter dived in to save the 10 year old, and the other, 6 year old grandchild dived in to save the babysitter. Both would-be rescuers died, while the 10 year old survived.

My first reaction was to laugh- the irony of the whole thing I find extremely amusing. Of course, I've met and spent time with that whole family. I may not be able to comprehend grief but I can identify and enjoy a good case of irony. The would-be saviors became the only victims. Talk about baptism by fire. If I ever heard of an ideal birth of a Nurture (as opposed to Nature) Sociopath, this is it. Either that or just a simple serial killer, but we can hope for the former. No, more like she'll just become an emotional wreck like Empaths tend to become in the face of 'tragedy'.

I would be thrilled I survived, but this just goes to show you how ungrateful Empaths can be of what they have. And it annoys me when things like this happen, because it brings my greatest weakness to light. I can't relate to grieving people. I hate when Empaths cry, you can never seem to make them stop. I can laugh and charm and wiggle my way around many different scenarios, but when faced with devastated people.. I'm at a loss. My witty, sarcastic masks have no purchase on this kind of.. honest, deep, emotion.

When put face to face with a sad, despondent Empath I can almost feel a giant spotlight above my head, highlighting for all the world to see my inadequacies. I am awkward and shallow and feel as if this fact is plain as day to anyone who cares to look but an inch or two deep. Even when I can pull off an air of quiet, 'aloof' unhappiness I can never gauge the 'appropriate' time I am supposed to enact these 'emotions'. It is a common misconception that Sociopaths have absolutely no emotion. We do. Ours are just shallow and self-centered. Most Sociopaths have a hair-trigger, they have much anger, and only hide it from the world.

I've been known to have little spurts of increased Unhappiness. Such as when a pet died or something like that. The difference is it was very short-lived, and usually revolved around ME no longer having something to amuse-ME. And dealing with someone or something "close' to me dying has always been an extreme annoyance. Sure there's occasionally that slight unhappiness, but it is quickly followed with complete annoyance at having my time wasted pretending to be emotionally unstable. I can somewhat understand being.. sad. But after a day or so it seems illogical and imprudent. Once the damn thing's buried it's gone. It is like emotional Peek-a-Boo. Once I don't see it, I don't comprehend pretending to be whiney about it anymore.

Which is undoubtedly why I Hate. Grieving. Empaths. Now my whole day, and perhaps week, is completely shot because I have to play saddened and subdued friend. I can only hope as Mr. Almighty "Once said', "this too shall pass'.

But don't even get me started on that fucking book.

We all know a Sociopath wrote the Bible.

Sociopathic quote of the Day

"I'm not completely emotionless, I'm prone to fits of uncontrollable rage"

Malignant Narcissistic Personality-Maybe me?

I recently came across a very interesting new branch of Narcissism/Sociopathy, called Malignant Narcissistic personality. Basically it is a hybrid mix between Sociopathy and Narcissism. A person with MNPD is a sociopath with extremely narcissistic tendencies, more so than normal, and also a higher level of paranoia and lack of impulse control. It is not "officially' registered in the DSM, but I generally believe that thing is a crock of shit anyways.

I honestly do not believe Sociopathy is a 'disorder', in the sense that, it does not need to be treated. Which is why I do not generally refer to it as APD or, Antisocial Personality 'Disorder'. I understand that a disorder is an irregularity, and Sociopathy is just that, but, not only do I believe it impossible to treat, but unnecessary as well.

Instead of viewing the world as black and white we view it as one giant sea of grey. There is no distinction between right and wrong- it simply does not exist. There is no 'higher being' who dictates the boundaries of so called 'morality'. Our society has created the illusion of the importance of man. In reality we are insignificant and doomed to eventual extinction, just like everything else.

The Sociopath recognizes the importance placed on societal norms, and in order to put themselves in a higher station, are sure to appear to blend in with those norms perfectly. More so in most cases than an average everyday Empath. It is our specialty and a necessity of our existence. A stupid psychopath is a caged psychopath. A stupid psychopath is a soon to be Crisp psychopath. Always keep that in mind.

Although that brings me to another great topic. Later on, perhaps tomorrow I will begin to discuss the different kinds of sociopath. Like any other group of people we are each our own individual and unique self. Some of us have violent and deviant urges, some of us are fairly placid and merely wish to continue on peacefully in our existence, some of us are more easily prone to boredom and a rare few of us actually purposefully perpetuate 'good' for no reason at all. I'll delve further into this tomorrow.

Errands

Today was horrendously exhausting. It seemed as if we had an endless supply of errands to run. We were out at least 8 hours doing everything under the Sun. Well, maybe that's a bit of an over-exaggeration but still. I was up late last night, then got up early and now I'm extremely drained so forgive my less than stellar prose for today, maybe later tonight I'll pick this up and write anew.