Happy Now?

Everyone makes mistakes.

What an irritating statement. I do on occasion make errors in judgment. They are not usually huge errors that effect my livelihood, but rather, my mental state. I hate wasting time. I especially hate people, who waste MY time. It's very precious to me. There are only so many hours in a day, and most of those are wasted on undesirable or at least, un-entertaining endeavors.

When I become obsessed with something I often sink inordinate amounts of time into it. This could be a specific pursuit, the study of a specific subject, or it can be in a person, a relationship. The most irritating thing to me is having that time and effort spit back into my face. Then I must reevaluate what the hell it is I've been doing.

Sometimes my obsessions prove fruitful and follow me year to year, and other times I am slapped in the face with my apparent mistake. Mistake. Mistake. Mistake. What a lovely word, it really bites you in the ass when you don't want it to. Do I have regrets? Not in the form of "I wish I could change that." But rather in the form of "No more. No longer."

Sometimes it's prudent to tap yourself on the shoulder when you realize the ditch you've been digging, isn't going to get you to China. I am always flabbergasted at how unappreciative people are of me. Society always seems to paint psychopaths one-dimensionally as the source for all the world's strife. Flip the paper over and see the reality; we do just as much good as harm. Maybe not intentionally, but does motive ever really matter?

When you idiots lounge in the aura of my charisma; languish in the baths of my flattery; rejoice from behind the walls of the self esteem *I* built you, how dare you cast stones? Everyone despises Satan. They think he's so deplorable because he 'fools' poor mortals into paying for the favor he grants them. NOTHING IS FREE. I created a world fit for your desires to please you, do you think you get to leave me empty-handed? No, you don't. I am enraged when Empaths take the gifts I give them for granted. I can just as easily snatch them away.

But why should I have to? Fair is fair, isn't it? How is it, I am the Devil, but you are the ones who try to screw me? I am so altruistically following the so-called rules of your fucking morality, which it seems you do not even follow yourselves. So I guess my point is; Danger! Danger! Danger! Rethink how you want this to end--IF you want this to end. If you don't I'd consider this a time for a reevaluation of strategy. It's only fair.
~~~~~~~~

“There are no mistakes. The events we bring upon ourselves, no matter how unpleasant, are necessary in order to learn what we need to learn; whatever steps we take, they're necessary to reach the places we've chosen to go.”

--Richard Bach

Emotion,

Is what makes humanity weak. The most pathetic species in existence- at least for the duration of this post anyway. We all have them. And by 'we' I mean everyone but me. The point is faux empathy has become a global pandemic (redundant phrasing, I know). And the 'sincere' version's no better. By faux I mean it's fake, but not how a socio fakes it. It's become a fad. Haiti, New Orleans, Uganda; no one gives half a damn about any of these places. But, each of these places at one time or another became the focal point of what I like to call, Fad Empathy. Basically, if you couldn't get the definition from the obvious name, Fad Empathy is when as a result of the media or some other brain washing social source a slew of people pretend to care about a specific place or group of people in order to look 'cool' and 'fit in'. It's a fascinating phenomenon really. It annoys the shit out of me.

As soon as the fad is over, when there's no more hype and it's no longer 'cool' to care people stop. Just like that. And I'm supposed to be the emotionless bastard here? Not true. What I am is, I'd like to say honest. We all know that's not true but if I'm a liar then it makes sense for me to lie, right? Everything I do is for a reason. It may seem warped to the outside world but I don't give a damn about the outside world- I give a damn about Me. That's the difference. Normals lie because they want their peers to view them in a certain way. Not for a specific personal gain, but because they want the FEELING of acceptance. I can't relate to that.

That's not to say I don't relate to many, many Empaths. That's just not true. I know I talk like it's Me vs Them but I recognize there is a special sub-species of Empath that I have oodles of traits in common with. The Asshole, also known as, the Bitch, Jerk, Jackass or Bastard. They're my favorite Empaths because they're just so much easier to get along with. So much more straight forward and just simply fun. They insult, demean and manipulate and couldn't care less how wounded my inner-feelings could be. I can honestly say they're a true pleasure to watch in action.

I'm an avid protester of the mundane. I enjoy excitement but don't like to show it. Fear is my favorite emotion. I rarely feel it, but when I do I love to confront it. To intensify the feeling. It's almost a sexual experience-a rush. I don't fear fear, I seek it out. I enjoy it. I provoke pain. I suppose I've always been wired a bit backwards. The word for it I believe is, I'm a Masochist. As well as a Sadist, and a slew of other most likely 'disturbing' identities. My favorite toy is my personal set of razor sharp kitchen knives (less suspicious when it's normal). They're of course, never used for preparing food- that'd just be a waste. Maybe I have a knife fetish? Or perhaps the more broad 'Pointy Death-devices' fetish. Who knows?

Remember Socios,

"When dealing with people [Empaths], remember you are not dealing with creatures of logic, but creatures of emotion." --Dale Carnegie

Quote of the Day

"Hell is empty and all of the devils are here"

-Shakespeare

Death and our Perceptions

The hardest thing for people to comprehend about the Sociopath is our utter and complete lack of empathy (although I do believe there are levels of sociopathy and some may be more or less 'emotionless' than others). It's funny how a lack of empathy, shame and regret can effect so many other 'feelings' and 'emotions'. Take disgust for instance. Most people who look at the above image would cringe in disgust. That's not to say a Sociopath won't find it somewhat revolting, but the reasonings behind the 'feeling' are different. The Sociopath may deem the image as sloppy, dirty and simply messy, and therefore may categorize it under the term 'disgusting'. A 'normal' Empath (not saying all Empaths are the same) would find that revolting not only because it is 'messy' and bloody and gorey but because it is a tragic loss of human life or somesuch nonsense. I've never been able to comprehend the same Empaths who won't blink an eye at the sight of the mangled roadkill just run down by their tires, but will sob and balk at the 'senseless' loss of human life and argue that it is not the same. At least as a Sociopath I am consistent. I care about no life but my own and those who benefit me. The only delusional beliefs I hold are about myself and that's just that little nibble of Narcissism in me that makes me the charming catch that I am.

"Do the animals know they are going to die? The men who kill them claim they don't. But when the machinery begins to rumble and the conveyor belts start to roll, sounds that expedite death are heard by animal and man alike."- Francis B Gross

Mother In Law and World Domination

Tomorrow, soon to be 'today' I will be meeting with my grandmother's mother Inlaw. I know it sounds exciting, but really it's going to be even more miserable than it sounds. Of course I'll smile and flatter and blather on throughout, but that doesn't mean it won't be unpleasant. Quite the contrary, it will be hell. Manipulation in itself is I suppose its own reward. Controlling someone with nothing but your words and false sincerity gives a... feeling of 'accomplishment' that I assume is what Empaths drone on and on about when doing, good, deeds.

I wonder if our two different kinds of 'feelings' of 'accomplishment' feel similar. Mine is built on power and the feline stroking of my ego and theirs I assume is some delusional feeling of completion upon helping others over themselves. I really don't know. A lot of what I have always deemed to be the truth about Empaths has been strongly disputed by some, 'experts'. This has caused me to question my perspective on my own.. perspective, so to speak. I have always harbored a view on the world tainted by my own sociopathy. I have always realized I was different in some ways, but not others. For instance, my belief has always been that it's not my lack of emotional give a fuck that was different, just my honesty about not giving a fuck.

I figured everyone was as callous as me, they just pretended to be kind and humble for attention and accolades from the rest of society. I'm not saying I don't pretend, but only when it benefits me. Not just to get a nice 'pat on the back'. That's just... ridiculous. Illogical. Insane. A complete waste of time and precious energy.

I couldn't, and still can't, possibly imagine why anyone gives a damn about Africa or Mexico or some other shitty, flea infested place like that. Sure it's unfair. If enough people in wealthy countries REALLY cared, we wouldn't be screwing those poor third world countries like we are now. But fortunately for the world, people like me run things. Do any of you woe-begone morons even comprehend what those third worlders would do in our place? They would crush us. Just as they should. Why? Because it makes sense. It's logical. The fewer nations that are in power, the greater power those few nations hold. And that's just the tip of the iceberg in terms of reasons and explanations of our actions go. But I digress.

Where I live, in my group of 'friends' and in the entire area (and the world, really) there is a species of Empath I like to call the AttentionWhore, sometimes called just Whore for short. These creatures, who I will talk about in more detail in a later post, are basically the scourge of the social world. They are the Narcissists of the Empath world and they are coming for your sanity. Just as a bit of a teaser to what these Things really are and what they really do; this is a hypothesized example of a starter dialogue between two AttentionWhores planning for the next day,

A-Whore1: "I'll pretend to just notice ur bullemic anorexia if you bring attention to my super conspicuous slit wrists!"

To Be Continued...