Is there a such thing as a 'normal' sociopath? Meaning, is there a right or a wrong way to be empty inside? I don't think so but then again, I am admittedly warped. I'm not just a Sociopath, I'm a violent, sadistic sociopath and I'm not sure others can relate to that. Sometimes I think of it as being consciously insane. The statement contradicts itself. If you know you're 'crazy' you must not be crazy. I know that sometimes the things I say or do are considered 'wrong'. They are 'amoral'. I realize society believes that, but there is no such thing as morality just as there is no God. I KNOW what society thinks. But I also know they are completely full of shit. I don't see how not having a conscience is 'bad'. 99.99% of animals don't have one either, maybe we should lock them all up too.
The other day after a gathering of some sort my grandmother looked at me quizzically. She said, "I never seemed to notice before but... you have really great social skills..." But she didn't say it like a casual compliment, but almost as if it were an epiphany. She went, "You're charming, funny, articulate and engaging... you make people feel important- but I know for a fact you don't really feel that way... you're.. you're kind of...."
"Glib?" I replied, and our eyes met in an almost eerie silent communication.
It makes me wonder if we Socios are more naive than we think. Are all the people around us really the naive ones or is it us? Are they merely in denial of what they know deep down to be true? Of course I'm referring to close 'friends' and relatives not your everyday casual acquaintance. How can someone interact or even live with someone for years on end and never realize they're talking to an empty shell? It's hard to believe, but every once in awhile I look in someone's eyes and am positive we both know what I am. Generally speaking though, that happens most with other sociopaths.
“Our greatest pretenses are built up not to hide the evil and the ugly in us, but our emptiness. The hardest thing to hide is something that is not there.”- Eric Hoffer
1 comment:
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