Boredom

I'm discussing with someone the difference between the things I 'enjoy' and what normal people enjoy. As a rule, I don't feel a wide range of emotion. Say the normal emotional scale is from -10 to 10, my scale is from -2 to 2. Therefor my, 'hobbies' tend to be more extreme. Boredom is a constant in my life. But it's not as if I seek happiness. I don't really get the point.

Emotions are so annoying to me. Being around emotional people is like being an outsider in a club everyone else is a part of. No one will tell me the secret password. I can talk my way around many emotions but I don't really understand where they come from. For instance, I can't have a heartfelt conversation with someone, I'm not quite good enough yet to fake all the things I need to fake. I can say how "sorry I am for your loss" or whatever, but I can't verbally show I relate to someone, as if that even makes any sense.

My point is, Sociopaths aren't half as good as people think we are. The advantage we have is people assume everyone is like them. If an Empath was analyzing my emotional response with the knowledge that I may be full of shit, I might have a harder time being convincing. Why? Because you can't write a thesis on a topic you didn't study. If you've never heard of spanish you sure as hell couldn't identify, then speak the language.

Who knows. I'm tired and can't even follow my own analogy at the moment, but I don't allow more than 2 days to go by without posting. I have to maintain a regimen. Control is a very important element in my life. What I can control, I do. Everyone has their little idiosyncrasies. Mine just happen to make me the devil.