Sunday, June 26, 2011
Sexless Seduction
I recently discovered a blog about seduction. The author was decidedly sociopathic, and his techniques/advice were valid. I was nominally interested because manipulation is a common theme of mine, but that interest was not perennial. Not because his technique was in any way flawed, but because the information is rote to me by this point.
Seduction is not difficult. Moreover, it has never thrilled me in any sense. It is however, a necessity. You should be wondering, what seduction is to me; because it is not the same to everyone. My definition is simple; seduction is the persuasion of a person or persons, through use of erotic stimuli. The misconception often is, that the goal or purpose of seduction, is sex. For some that may be true, but rarely ever is that the case for me.
Seduction to me is a useful means of manipulation. Its purpose is to lend an advantage in persuasion. I most often use it with persons of authority. You may be questioning, how erotic persuasion can have nothing to do with sex. It's simple really, I create a warped... 'friendship' that can only be described as pseudo-sexual. The idea is to entice a low level of sexual interest that borders the lines of friendship intriguingly. A level low enough as to be mistaken as friendly, but the signs of success are very separable from the signs of a successful 'friendship' with no sexual undertones.
I learned of this valuable means of manipulation quite with a mixture of curiosity and experimentation. When I was younger and realized I was different mentally from my peers, I really began experimenting with how my behavior effected others. I really started taking note of how what I said and did changed people's perceptions of me, either favorably or unfavorably. In middle school, when I really blossomed intellectually, I noticed that my intelligence in itself, altered others' view of me.
A brilliant child is intimidating, especially to adults. I learned that my intellect could fuel admiration and envy, and that both had their separate benefits and detriments. Piece by piece, interaction by interaction, I learned the art of seduction. I also began to learn that the general population's ideas regarding manipulation were humorously flawed. Their perceptions on what it is to control another human being was often garnered from the media; corny movies and overdramatic novellas. I was learning the truth.
A saying I often coin is that, "communication IS manipulation"and conversely, "manipulation is communication." At its most baser level, that's what it is, a series of unconscious manipulations. The main driver of manipulative communication is Empathy. That is why the average person does not realize how manipulative they really are, because empathy is a passive trait. For the psychopath, that last statement is untrue. The reason psychopaths are known for manipulation, is because our manipulation is always conscious rather than subconscious. It's not a choice, it's a necessity.
Another common analogy I use, especially to those very close to me (of which there are few), is that I am water and they are a bowl. I mould myself to fit into them, in most ways that are necessary. Which really is the word of the day, necessity; that is what shapes many of the principles I have come to follow. Naturally, alone, with no person or persona to influence me, I am truly a bland, shapeless being. I have few (if any) true likes or dislikes unless they are overwhelmingly dictated by biology rather than true preference. For instance, certain allergies demand I avoid certain foods over others (not that I do... bad-ZKM!).
But this doesn't mean exactly what it might suggest. I do not simply mimic people, I discovered long ago that was unnecessary and not fully effective. Well, I'll try to explain this honestly/clearly (which is often a difficult feat). At first I do, that is a part of my 'process'. When first introduced to a person I am neutral, observant, I get a sense for who they are, then naturally without much thought, slowly begin to absorb them. This process is so ingrained to me, that sometimes I initiate it in circumstances when I don't mean to. Everything about a person from the way they speak (do they have an accent?) to the gestures they use to the level of education they have, begins to work its way into my identity (or at least, the identity I project to them). This is what we'll call, Stage Two.
Stage Two is beneficial because it allows me to fully integrate this person into the database that is my mind. From here I ease my way into Stage Three, which involves moulding myself more complimentarily. This is where, after strong observation, I decide which traits they most desire I have in common with them, and which traits they would prefer were different. This of course, is assuming that my goal, is simply friendship or attachment. Stage Three is heavily influenced by my goal, in fact, the goal is absolutely vital. If I do not have a goal, there is no Stage Three.
Why did I mention all of this? Get so seemingly far off-topic? Well, partially because I always get off-topic, but mostly it was on purpose. The difference between this seduction I am known for, and any other of my manipulations has everything to do with Stage Three. After successfully completing the first and second steps of my 'manipulation' (for the lack of a better word) I reevaluate my goal before proceeding. To create this pseudo-sexual bond, I need to manufacture the right combination of tension and fondness between me and my subject. Reread my last sentence, it was crucial. The secret is TENSION and FONDNESS.
Don't ask me why it works, but it does. It is always tricky for me to explain here, with words, all that goes into what I do everyday. Because a lot of what I do, involves a good dose of what one might call "instinct', but I call "in-the-moment-analysis/action'. After every word I say I am carefully looking for reaction and analyzing if said reaction is flowing in the direction I desire it to. There are certain cues that show me I am successful.
Case-in-point: the reduction of physical boundaries. This is the most illustrative example of success. The mark will suddenly feel the urge to increase physical closeness and this is often characterized by familiar, though appropriate, touches. These touches are often not customary of this person, that is part of how you can tell. I have had others notice and mention to me," _____ seems to touch you a lot more than usual... weird."
The benefit of this subtle form of seduction is that it constantly places my motives and actions at an advantage. Everything from my work to my ideas are seen automatically from a more positive light. I might delve into this more at a later date.
Labels:
communication,
lying manipulation,
Narcissism,
psychopath,
seduction,
sociopathy
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
I think I understand where you were going with this, as I use seduction as a primary tool in achieving most of my goals. The one area where I would possibly disagree with you is your use of “erotic” in your definition. I say possibly since erotic means different things to different people. I myself would say that seduction is giving another person what he or she desires in order to gain what you yourself desire.
For example, if I want something from my neighbor (whom I happen to know loves cookies) I might take him a plate of freshly baked cookies. If I want something from my over weight sister in law I’ll fawn over how thin she looks that day. Even a simple smile is capable of seducing someone into looking at you as a harmless friendly person. If you give someone what they want I firmly believe they are more likely to reciprocate. Flattery is always seductive, but if left to stand on its own rarely leads to sex.
Anyway, I do not think erotica is an integral part of a successful seduction. When used with the right people it is a useful tool, but misread your subject and it becomes a hindrance. That being said, cleavage not diamonds are a girls best friend.
"A saying I often coin"? Please. You are not as smart as you think you are.
Post a Comment