Take a Peak Behind the Mask

"Success is the sole earthly judge of right and wrong."- Adolf Hitler

Friday, April 1, 2011

Conversation Inspires

I feel... exhilarated. I was completely in my element today.. meaning, completely full of shit.

It's nice to stretch those Deceit Muscles a bit more strenuously once in awhile, it's good for circulation. It is a satisfying experience, to pull the wool over someone's eyes. It's not always necessarily for any particularly malicious reason, either. Simply lying for the sake of lying tickles my narcissism like a wispy feather.

And it is unfortunate, my inherent narcissism. As much as the psychopathic side of me resents the weaknesses Narcissism brings, it IS probably one of the few reasons I experience any positive stimuli at all.  Having my ego stroked gives me the same kind of giddiness Normals get from snuggling kittens. I rarely indulge such frivolities though. I'm usually too busy being the misanthropic leech that I am. Any kind of positive feeling is rare for me. I'm not depressed or anything else so dramatic--just simply flat-lined. Sometimes I swear I need to check my pulse.

Not all psychopaths are emotionless- that's a common misconception. The spectrum ranges from violent, easily irritated individuals to completely apathetic, emotionless corpses walking among the living. I myself am somewhere in between. My range of emotions is small and short lived, but still there all the same. I'm not purely empty nor out of control. Just in between.

Knowledge is something I enjoy possessing. A wide variety inhabits my head, and when appropriate I like nothing less than to set it free. Of course today I'm in a bit of  a Narcy mood, but I assure you that's not always the case. I think I'm managing to irritate myself. And when you're the only thing that's important, that can start being a real problem.

1 comment:

I love tn said...

"Having my ego stroked gives me the same kind of giddiness Normals get from snuggling kittens." That made me laugh.

Hmm, emotional range... well put.