The first of many Rants to come

Today it seems will be another continuation of an endless string of dull, uneventful days. I have much work to do and of course, no motivation to do it. It will get done eventually of course, my enormous ego will make sure of that. Without it I I have no doubt I would be lost. I find that somewhat funny, that my ego is the sole motivation for my seeming 'ambition'. That my superiority complex gets me up at 4 in the morning and puts me to bed at 9 o'clock. As I've previously attested I have many 'friends', more like acquaintances, but they don't all know that. From many different 'groups' too, which for me adds a variety to my life I wouldn't otherwise have. How can you possibly relate to so many different 'groups'? Well, you just create several different identities. The studious student, the Hard Worker, the Rebel, the beloved Family Member, the Cruel Rageful person few know, and the Loving Peaceful person people think they know.

I'm quick to anger and absolutely remorseless. If the people around me truly knew the things that raged inside my head they would get the fuck away from me as quickly as conceivably possible. But alas, they do not, and something about that gives me a little thrill. A lone wolf surrounded by sheep. Although I must admit, I have met some truly devilishly delightful people, who like me, feel no guilt and who, like me have that deadly violence swimming around in their heads. It thrills me to meet, or see, or hear about anyone remotely like me. The Ted Bundys and the Jeff Dahmer's of the world do nothing more than fascinate me.

I could listen to Bundy speak for hours. Everything that ever came out of his mouth was utter bullshit, sans one time, and I fucking love it. He was a master of his craft, and I don't mean killing. One time that I recall however, he spoke the truth, and his words summed this 'condition' up beautifully. He said, "I'm the most cold hearted son of a bitch you'll ever meet' (Or was it cold blooded? I can never remember). A better summary of this so-called 'disorder' has never been spoken (Well, perhaps it has but I am partial to hyperbole).

Men and women with that heavily sought after Silver Tongue have always held as much admiration as I'm capable of. In school being taught of the Holocaust and WWII was always the highlight of my year. I wanted to hear Hitler's speeches, absorb his ideologies, not for some idiotic belief in his 'cause', but to sit there in awe of how one man could cow an entire nation! It's fucking brilliant.

But now that I've got myself caught up in a bit of a rant I'll end this here. There are few things in this world I enjoy more than 'hearing' myself 'talk' so to speak. Why else would anyone start a Blog? Since normally I must keep my profound (and justified) arrogance to myself, and play the meek and humble little rabbit, it's nice to have an outlet. Although today I admit it has reached a fever pitch. Thoughts of the Holocaust always get my world domination fantasies going..